Money Mindset Shifts

We all experience gradual money mindset shifts including what kinds of homes and living situations are tolerable for us at certain stages of life.

At 22 years old, I lived with roommates and shuttled between teaching high school math, attending graduate courses at UNLV, and gathering the energy to play rugby from 7–9 p.m. at the end of a day that started at 5:50 a.m.  I certainly did not sleep enough to recover from my days, but it did not matter because I was 22.  The schedule also meant I did not have time for activities like shopping, but sometimes I did not have time to make food either.  Instead of ordering something healthy and appealing, I opted for anything at the 7-Eleven next to the school where I taught that cost less than $3 to sustain myself.  (There are still a remarkable number of options for lunches under $3 at 7-Eleven.)

I absolutely could not live like that now.  Most importantly, I need sleep if I want to do anything athletic.  Over the past 13 years, my diet has shifted slowly but substantially, and I no longer find the nutrition of a 7-Eleven hot dog acceptable as pre-practice or pre-school fuel.  That food would not help me run or think at age 35.  Days packed with obligations for 15 consecutive hours are unacceptable at this point, and the extent to which I am willing to have roommates is welcoming visiting friends to stay in our second bedroom with its own attached bathroom.

The person I am at 35 would reject areas of frugality that seemed easy when I was 22.  Over the last 13 years, I have experienced lifestyle inflation.  Most people do, but my lifestyle inflation was a bit more controlled than the average person.  I slowed the pace of my lifestyle inflation while still allowing myself to embrace aspects of a more comfortable lifestyle that eventually brought me to this place where my 22-year-old lifestyle would be intolerable.

This is especially strange for me because who I am today probably could not retire in 13 years.  I have too many luxuries and healthy habits to achieve a 50% savings rate on $36,000 ever again due to my gradual lifestyle inflation.  I also have different priorities, especially health-related ones, that require more money to sustain now that I am older.  It is weird to know that I both built this life for myself and could not build it again as quickly as I did the first time.  My money mindset and financial priorities have changed too much.

The Power of Being 22: Delay Lifestyle Inflation

It is so easy to live with roommates when you have been living with roommates for years.  It is so easy to survive off of a monthly food budget under $100 when you are used to foraging through the cabinets to creatively determine what you can throw together to avoid that trip to the grocery store or extra dollar spent.  It is so easy to survive schedules where you are home only to shower and sleep, sometimes all packed into six hours, when you are used to a schedule that constantly has you moving.

When the constraints of our life are all we have known, it is easy to live with them.  Once we remove a constraint, it becomes much more difficult to add it back.  Taking advantage of how simple we can live happily when we are young is important for our financial future.  There are more temptations than ever to spend what little money someone in their early 20s makes, but limiting lifestyle inflation early is easier than trying to peel back lifestyle inflation later.

At 22, I was happy to focus on personal growth.  Throwing myself into teaching, playing for one of the top rugby teams in the nation, studying for the GRE, earning a master’s degree, and training for my first Ragnar occupied a time and cost very little thanks to an Americorps grant.  I did not mind resisting a $20 Bud Light on the Las Vegas Strip because I spent my spare time visiting Utah for hiking adventures with Patrick or driving to California for an away rugby match.

As long as I was willing to get a 7-Eleven lunch rather than order fancier takeout, frugality was easy because I was focused on a bunch of self-development activities that were free or relatively inexpensive.  Even my persistent travel addiction was focused on seeing as much of the western United States as possible because I knew it was easier to visit while I lived there.  Flying to San Francisco and Seattle was a lot less expensive than flying to Greece like I often do now, but both cities were still new and exciting to me.

If you are under age 25, your financial situation is probably a little constrained.  You also are probably used to having roommates, ramen for dinner, and a few beers on the porch as a social event.  Enjoy the time where that is normal.  Your happiness is inexpensive.  Your health can be maintained and your basic needs met relatively inexpensively.  That gives you tons of freedom, and you can take advantage of that by putting away some money for an emergency fund and starting to contribute to retirement funds.

Becoming More Expensive

At 35, I am much more expensive.  I require monthly sports massages, red light therapy, compression boots, and regular sauna sessions to keep moving athletically.  I need eight hours of sleep, which somehow means nine hours in my bed, as well as a gentle wind down period before the start of those nine hours.  Sleep is basically a ten-hour ordeal, something that simply would not have fit into my 22-year-old schedule.  

The path to get here was gradual.  In my late 20s, I started addressing my severe allergies as a rugby player so allergic to grass that I would rarely sleep after evening practices.  I had the health insurance to improve my allergies, which improved my sleep and made encountering grass a much more tolerable experience.  While you probably do not have a severe grass allergy as an athlete that plays a sport on grass, you may have some health issue you neglected in your youth that starts to seem worth addressing in your later 20s.  This makes you more expensive, but health is worth addressing.

My schedule also became impossibly demanding in my late 20s, and I realized I had to give myself more schedule flexibility.  For me, not doing everything meant spending money to have someone deep clean our home once a month.  Accepting a less demanding schedule meant selecting flights for travel that were at more convenient times of the day rather than always choosing the cheapest flight.

In my early 30s, I even relented and bought new tank tops for myself.  I lived off hand-me-downs from my cousins (one cousin was extremely fashionable, loved shopping, and sent discarded clothing items down to her sister and me well into adulthood) for years but finally accepted that (a) my tank tops should not have holes in them after I wore them to death, and (b) I could afford to buy a cut that worked better with my rugby shoulders since they were still less than $10 at Target.

Food was also a huge growing expense because health became a greater priority.  Until my early 30s, food was always about the most economical and efficient choice.  By 35, I started caring about finding recipes I enjoyed that also provided some nutrients.  What once was a 7-Eleven lunch is now homemade pesto trapanese.  I feel better for the change, but it does raise the grocery bill.

Accept Your Changing Spending Priorities

I became more expensive because my spending priorities changed.  The resources available to me have also changed.  When we are 22, most of us have boundless energy and no money.  We throw our energy into life to make up for our lack of money, but this often means we ignore our health and wellness.  I now have money, a lot of it for a 35-year-old.  My health and wellness is far more important to me now, and earning an extra dollar is not because I already have the extra dollars I need.

Getting a full night’s sleep is worth paying money.  Eating a nutritious meal is worth paying money.  Preserving my energy takes more effort but is possible if I am willing to pay for it, and I am.

Whatever discomfort you were willing to endure at 22 will likely be too much to handle at 35.  Endure it while it seems small.  When it becomes a hassle, inflate your lifestyle just enough to maintain your daily happiness.  These gradual mindset shifts are part of growing up, and they are important to accept as long as you make them consciously.  The way you react with money will change over time.  You should be willing to spend more money to prioritize comforts you once would refuse to save a little money.  The best thing you can do to allow this adaptation is to set yourself up with as much of a financial cushion while you are still happy with the simplest joys in life.  Your pickier older self will thank you because they almost certainly will not be able to endure what you currently handle.